It was evening, a time of peace and quiet that I enjoy immensely. The lightly tinged blue sky that had shone outside of my bedroom window just moments before had now faded and been replaced with the bright light of a half-moon. The cool breeze of the June evening stirred my white curtains and brought with it the fresh smell of country earth.
"I pray I'd see You as a big God," I scrawled across the pages of my prayer journal, desperately.
"You hear my prayers and You will do great things."
I felt worn out from the day and especially disbelieving of God's great truths. I had come to realize that even in the midst of swirling doubts, though, I could still repeat what I knew to be true and my soul would be lifted up.
"I see You evidenced even in great tragedies. Only You could give people the faith to carry them through in the long and drawn out trials and the deepest valleys. I see You. I see Your faithfulness."
The first stars had begun to show outside my window. I smiled, peace edging over my soul, as I basked in the truths of my great Savior.
"I can finally see the truth. I can understand a little better how big You really are. That You are in everything and we are never separated from You. You go above and below, before and behind us...I want to ask for big things because You want us to act out our belief that You are a big God. You want us to act out our faith even in the most typically believed things about You."
The night had overtaken the sky completely and only the light of my small lamp lit the room but the darkness of doubt and weariness had been taken away. The truths of my Savior echoed in my soul.
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