While reading When I Don't Desire God: How To Fight For Joy by John Piper, an excerpt from the book planted itself in my heart.
"The fight for joy in Christ is not a fight to soften the cushion of Western comforts. It is a fight to live a life of self sacrificing love. It is a fight to join Jesus on the Calvary road and stay with Him there no matter what."
The Calvary road for Jesus took him to a place called Golgotha which means Place of the Skull. The Calvary road's end destination took Jesus to the place where He would be crucified on the cross and suffer unimaginable pain.
Then Jesus told His disciples, "If anyone come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. - Matthew 16:24
The imagery is powerful. This Calvary road for us, the bearing of our cross, often traverses through wastelands, fierce battles, dark fears, death, weakness, sacrifice, persecution.
Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. - John 15:20
I wrote this song out of a desire to show three life stages of a young woman as she walks this road to Calvary. Coming to know Christ at six years old, going through fear and struggle as a young woman, and experiencing enormous joy as a bride. All three of these, for me, captured a different stage of the journey on this road to Calvary. All three, mixtures of joy and pain, were each overseen by a loving Father and all are different parts of this road we traverse.
Sometimes it feels so easy to stay on this road with our Savior, other times we feel the strong temptation to give up this fight and stop walking up all the hills and through the rocky places. When our dreams and expectations are seemingly washed away and all we have left is the evidence of our own weakness and fear. When those times come, it is surely a fight to stay on this road to Calvary, but a fight we do not wage on our own.
The first rays of sun broke over this house
I walked through the fence to the grass
I felt the cool breeze sweep over me so surely
You broke over me
As I touched the scene
With un-scarred eyes at six years old
It was the first time
That You asked me to follow You
On this road to Calvary
I wrote on the page with lurid ink
A tear broke free as I called Your Name
It seems all my dreams were washed aside
Is it supposed to be this way?
So with a trembling heart
And trembling hands
I got on my knees
It was the first time You reminded me
That I was following You to Calvary
The door opened to a vivid smile
To his love locked eyes
At the end of the aisle
The film of the veil couldn't hide
My wonder-filled eyes
I promised him and he promised me
Til death do us part, through everything
Then he took my hand, whispered fervently
Would I join him on this road with You to Calvary
The Lord has promised good to me
His Word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
Because You asked me to follow You
On this road to Calvary
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